It’s Gordon Ramsey’s Fault

Bloody hell. Gordon Ramsey’s turning me into a vegetarian.
If you haven’t had an opportunity to watch The F Word, then you’re missing a great show. Call him what you will, but the man has passion for his industry and it’s contagious……..he also has turkeys. At least, in season one he did.
He decided that his kids should know where their food comes from so he bought six turkeys and raised them for Christmas dinner. I’m thrilled he was thinking of his kids, but I wish he’d thought of me. The more I see these turkeys, the less I want to eat them. They have bright, little eyes and their obvious joy when they’re pecking ’round the garden is hard to ignore.
Never mind that I can’t eat turkey (fierce poultry allergy), he’s bloody ruining me for all meats. Personally, I don’t want to know what my food was. I want to know where it came from, that it was treated well–love organic, but yee gods man! don’t show me the poor little guys all alive and kicking.
I’m a guilty carnivore. Always have been, always will be. I can’t bear to see the little lambs prancing about the field and then in the next shot, there it is hanging ready for an F word lunch. Everyone who knows me knows this (so I suppose Chef can be forgiven for ignoring my plight). I like slabs of meat, love it when that’s all it is and I can’t see what it used to be. Peel and eat shrimp? Forget it. Fish with the head still attached? Thanks, I’ll take the salad.
I tried to do the Aboriginal tradition of thanking the Great Spirit for the food, and thanking the animal for sacrificing its body, but every time I said my prayers, all I could hear was the little animal saying back, “Screw your thanks. I’d rather still be in the field.”
What to do, what to do? Can’t stop watching the show, too flippin‘ addictive.
I’m truly on my way to becoming the world’s first reluctant vegetarian. Damn Ramsey (well, heck, can’t very well blame my ‘oh, it’s furry and cute’ nature, can I? I mean, personal accountability? Yikes. No, no. Blame television. It’s all television’s fault)…

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