From Jay Leno: “A rattlesnake handler in Texas is recovering in the hospital after being bitten for the 12th time. If you’re a rattlesnake handler & you’re been bitten 12 times, are you really a handler? Aren’t you just a guy who doesn’t know how to pick up snakes?”
“I don’t believe in animal testing. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers.” ~ A Bit of Fry & Laurie
“Talent is helpful in writing, but guts are absolutely necessary.” Jessamyn West quotes
Vision without action is a daydream.
“People say Microsoft paid 14M$ for using the Rolling Stones song ‘Start me up’ in their commercials. This is wrong. Microsoft payed 14M$ only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn’t use the line ‘You’ll make a grown man cry’.”
Actually, it’s quoteS of the week…hit with a wicked cough/cold/flu thing and the idea of persevering when all I really want to do is wear flannel and hide under goose down is enormous…so I figure, I’ll pump the vitamin C and inspirational quotes…
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. ~Author Unknown
When the world says, “Give up,”
Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves. ~Dale Carnegie
Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. ~Author Unknown
When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. ~Josh Billings
Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from a few, it’s a research paper.
It’s a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
Interesting and true:
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Okay, so let me clarify because the quote sounds wildly depressing. (I believe) what Twain meant was this: true humour is the pain of humanity wrapped in a truth, and delivered in a way that twists the mind to the unexpected.
The joke sets the “pain,” the punch line gives us the truth, and the pairing of both, is what is funny.
An old man goes to the wizard to ask if he can remove a curse he’s been living with for the last 40 years. The wizard says, “Maybe, but you’ll have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.” The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Pain: A man finds the woman he fell in love with is not the same as the woman he married.
Truth: Marriage sometimes feels like a curse.
So, that’s what he meant(to paraphrase John Vorhaus): It’s the human experience, the shared humiliations, joys, and unexpectedness of life. It’s the garbage pain, the startling truth, the weird lunacy that bonds us, makes us laugh, and gives us the punchline.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.